High Ho

I am all seven dwarves at once.

Happy. I am moving soon and Vi and I are immensely happy. We will have more space and a yard and best of all a Jim. Hee hee. And at the same time, Vi’s dad is taking an interest in spending more time with her. Which is awesome. And HAMILTON IS COMING TO THE MORRISON CENTER next season. Which means we are *this close* and a small fortune away from going. Bwahahahahaha.

Sleepy. Ah, insomnia. And the medicine and its side effects. The medicine which causes drowsy driving among other things. The sleep attacks that can take me at any time. Snooze during the Pixies concert? Sure –I know I did a few times. Were they entertaining? Absolutely but I had slept like poop the night before. And the sleep doctor suspects narcolepsy, because of sleep paralysis and other symptoms. Which is loads of fun. Can’t wait to be a bipolar OCD sufferer with narcolepsy.

Grumpy. I have bipolar depression and it hits hard at times. On any given day I am full of moods. I go from being perfectly content to a grumpity-grump-grump in .5 seconds or less. I take a mood stabilizer to control my moods but it doesn’t mean I don’t fluctuate. I also tire of being a professional echo at times. So though I am happy (see above), I also have my dark moments.

Dopey. I am a large dork. This is best illustrated through my use of puns and dad jokes. I strive to be a humorist but I will never come close to being a stand-up comedian. I am also, because of my necessary prescription medications, a high ho. So there’s that.

Sneezy. I love Boise in the springtime. Did I mention that I am allergic to almost everything but dogs and cockroaches? Uh-huh. Found that out when I was living in San Antonio. Been to the allergists. Took allergy shots in Wyoming. Was allergic to them, too. Always pleasant to have a potentially life-threatening allergic reaction when your spouse is deployed and you’re trying to take care of your young child. Eh. Maybe I’m picky. Maybe I’m moody (see Grumpy, above).

Bashful. Social anxiety is an evil mistress. She haunts my dreams. She inhibits some of my goals. She tells me I am not fit for society. She tells me that I can’t perform publically. I am about ready to slap the bitch for this. I’m tired of my childhood trauma dictating elements of my adult life. This is something I ultimately need to outgrow.

Doc. This is the part of me that is constantly Googling my symptoms. And making a hypothesis about the current state of my health. Because damn it, I know better than medical professionals. I have Dr. House moments all the time. Unfortunately most of the time I am dead wrong in my prognoses. Doesn’t help that the doctors also suspect there’s something wrong with me (see Sleepy, above).

The really interesting thing? If I were to resemble any Disney princess, it would undoubtedly be Snow White.


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