Help Wanted

So it looks like I’ll be looking for another job after the holidays. Still planning on keeping the present one so I’ll have to work around that. Trying to figure out exactly what I can do in the evenings that doesn’t involve knee-wracking retail work. Would freelance write for cash but hell, I can barely get published anywhere. Not that I’ve tried much.

Might go the performing route for a little extra cash. Posted an ad on Craigslist seeking musicians and got a few responses but nothing that suited my pop/folk style. May have to learn to play an instrument and just busk.

Can’t do musical theatre this season for a variety of reasons. Number one is this particular troupe is pay-to-play and I am lacking in the dollars and sense department. You read that right. Sense. I don’t have the funds or the sense to manage what little I do have. I can’t afford dance shoes and membership fees and all the incidentals. Not on top of the cost of Violet’s upcoming surgery.

Ah, Violet’s surgery. I cannot wait for it to be over. She’s scared of course, and when she tells me so, I am honest. I tell her that I am scared too. But we wouldn’t be doing this if the reward weren’t greater than the risk. A reprieve from the illness that has plagued her since June would be great.

So I am trying not to stress too much and yet, cannot help it.

And what about the MLM? I will still try to sell the Rodan and the Fields. But I don’t have high hopes for it like my fellow salesladies do. I’ve been drowning financially for a few years, struggling to survive. And now that I got a little bit ahead I led too extravagant a lifestyle and blew it. I want it all, and I want it now. But I have to realize that I’m still in the wake of a divorce that cost me the affordability of creature comforts.

In light of that, I need to stick with my library card. I need to stop buying my kid everything her heart desires. I need to exercise for health and entertainment. I was once a thrifty, poor military spouse who had to budget everything to the nickel. I need to find this resourceful soul and become her again.

I also need to quit buying stuff and instead save for events. Vacations (what are those)? Movies. Theatre events. Concerts. I need to make memories instead of buying a ton of useless crap. The stuff I’ve bought hasn’t filled the void. It has made the void larger somehow.

And with that, and in the spirit of being totally hypocritical, going to buy something online now. It is something I need–babyproofing items for the apartment. No worries, people. It’s just that the cat has figured out how to paw her way into the kitchen cupboards.

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