5 am

So I wrote it anyway and I took it down. Doesn’t make it hurt less, just makes it another scar to bear. There are others brave enough to tell their stories and I will leave it to them for now. Having it up was giving me too much anxiety to be perfectly honest.

Saw the counselor the other day and didn’t mention that my former lover’s assault on me was one of the factors stressing me out. But I got necessary medication adjustments anyway. More anti-anxiety, surprisingly less mood stabilizer.

It’s about time to refill my clomipramine. It is $52 to buy a month’s worth for dogs. It is $100 to buy a month’s supply for an insured human. It’s about $470 without insurance.

I have a few things to say about this. “Woof, woof.”

Also, our healthcare system is robbing us blind.

And what else? Oh yes, my child has strep throat for the fourth time in four months. At least, she has tested positive on four separate occasions. This is more unpleasant for her than it is for me. She has missed four days of school because of it. We are looking at a potential tonsillectomy here. They are culturing the nasty crud at the back of her throat to make sure it is, in fact, strep. And not some hideous virus masquerading as strep.

Speaking of masquerades, Halloween is coming up and I don’t have a single thing to wear. I could try to lose enough weight to fit into one of the Jack Skellington dresses I have. In fact, let’s set that goal this morning. It shouldn’t be too hard since as part of the anxiety medication regimen I am giving up alcohol entirely.

And I didn’t get up early enough to walk this morning. But I can always walk a bit later as it is pleasant enough outside. Also, I’m attending a performance this evening in Meridian that is outdoors. Fresh air away from the plague of strep= winning.

My daughter likes studying the plague. So I think I’ll leave her my copies of the books I read in The Biology of Human Disease class in college. Hopefully, they don’t turn her into a hypochondriac as they did me.

Here’s to hoping.

 

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