Chasing Shadows

The cat chased a shadow behind my bagged wedding dress. She clawed her way up the entire length of the dress and managed not to put a hole in the filmy sleeves. It’s a miracle. I was wondering after 15 years of storage what to do with the damned thing, but I was still surprisingly upset at the thought of its potential destruction.

Have a random five hours off this morning so I thought I’d do some writing. I am upset over some recent revelations. After finally procuring proper psychiatric care, this new snafu in the retirement payment has me unable to afford the much-needed treatments. I am still waiting for the bill for the shrink but I know that specialty appointments cost at least $75 a pop.

So I have plenty of refills on my meds and approximately four months to figure out what to do next. Going off of my meds is an extremely bad idea. I wouldn’t be able to function, let alone provide for my daughter. So it’s not really an option, but I can no longer truly afford the medication. There’s always credit cards but the interest rates are ridiculous.

So another job it is. But what to do when you’re technically disabled by a chronic illness and already working 40 hours a week?

I don’t want to spend any more time away from my daughter than I already am. I think I’m going to start submitting more pieces to various outlets and perhaps start transcribing videos online. That way perhaps while she is doing homework I can do something productive and potentially lucrative. I don’t have any illusions or get-rich-quick schemes.

I do recognize that in order to do all this and add exercise to the mix, I need to invest some planning and somehow gain time management skills. I also have a metric buttload of freelance writing opportunities delievered to my mailbox each week. Perhaps it’s time to look at some of those.

The cat, meanwhile, is hiding behind my books. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Librarian.

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