I’ve Got the No-Good, Low-Down, Dirty Clomipramine Blues

So here’s my latest story. And it’s a doozy. Finally found the job I needed with the benefits I thought I would actually benefit from. Unfortunately, the plan I unwittingly elected, during this very stressful past six weeks, was not backed by proper research. Since my plan on the exchange and every other plan I’ve been on has covered my clomipramine prescription at a maximum cost of $25, I assumed that my present plan would not have it cost much more. Reasonable assumption?


It costs four times that with this particular insurance company. It’s considered a tier 4 medication and because of recent stresses, I was prescribed an increase. With the budget already stretched tight by much needed recent car repairs, this puts a 30 day supply out of reach for me long-term. I have ordered mail prescriptions at a slightly lower cost for the next 90 days.

However, I am not sure I can keep up this charade much longer. I’ve been on this med for nearly a decade and brain chemistry is a delicate beast. I don’t know what to do. Though my mood has been much improved by moving, I know too well how I am when I am not well. And without this medication, I fear I cannot stay well.

And pardon the French by why the hell is this medication so expensive anyway? Is it because the pharmaceutical industry knows that it’s magic??? They must. It’s a bleeping generic for bleep’s sake. And tricyclic antidepressants are old school. So why the excessive price tag? Don’t I deserve a right to lead a somewhat normal existence like everybody else?

So. Email in to HR and calls to the insurance company to see if there’s anything we can do about this situation. Fingers and toes crossed, people. Regular SSRIs don’t work and those were all the tier one medications the insurance rep suggested.

And Crabapple Insomniac Supreme, a self-proclaimed insanely bad burrito, has apparently eaten a bad burrito. I am sick today. I was fudging up my words at work because my stomach was causing massive concentration issues. I cannot focus well when I am ill, especially with nausea and other assorted stomach symptoms.

And with that, I am done bitching and am going to focus on the positive. My daughter is no doubt having a terrific time at her McCall school field trip that she’s been excited about for a year. And the cat is happy to have me home. Was supposed to go on a date, but the burrito of fate said no. So it’s all good.

Also good…if I go off my meds, my writing may come with more difficulty, but man will I ever be able to describe my recurring symptoms in vivid detail. Every obsessive inkling will be dissected for your reading pleasure. Every obscure and intrusive thought will be dashed around my brain until I no longer value life. It will be a thrill-a-minute.

Let’s try to avoid that, people, mmmkay?

Drug costs are bad.


One thought on “I’ve Got the No-Good, Low-Down, Dirty Clomipramine Blues

  1. I love the honesty of your blog Cheryl. You also have a wounderful meter to your writing style that makes each entry easy to consume. Talking about that which plagues you isn’t easy but you still manage to shine light on moments of hope and triumph.

    Get back to writing again soon! I’ll be checking in for more content frequently.



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